Synopses & Reviews
Synopsis
Blending memoir, cultural criticism, and reporting from the frontlines of contemporary American boyhood, this is a insightful deep dive into the complexities of raising boys in our fraught political moment. Evidence of male entitlement and aggression is everywhere--from school shooters to incels, campus rapists to the online 'manosphere.' As men increasingly come to represent injustice and harm in the absolutist climate of the culture wars, feminist writer and mother of three boys Ruth Whippman can sometimes find herself conflicted and defensive, stranded on one side of a symbolic divide with her own children on the other. But as she comes to realize, gender politics aren't simple. Male privilege and male vulnerability co-exist in a complex relationship; and raising boys who can challenge the confines of masculine expectations is more important now than ever.
With young men in the grip of a loneliness epidemic and dying by suicide at a rate of nearly four times their female peers, Whippman asks: What are the many cultural messages we send to boys that leave them anxious, emotionally repressed, and socially isolated? How do we raise our sons to have a healthy sense of self without turning them into entitled assholes? How can we find a feminism that holds boys to a higher standard but still treats them with empathy? And what do we do when our own boys won't cooperate with our plans?
BoyMom moves beyond simplistic, polarized thinking to uncover the myriad complex and invisible ways that systems of masculinity both harm boys and teach them to harm others. Determined to widen the possibilities for her own sons and subvert the social forces already affecting them, Whippman talks to boys of all types, as well as parents, educators, and other experts, and uncovers surprising and controversial truths about boy socialization. With humor and deep vulnerability, Whippman takes a stark look at her own parenting choices as well as wider narratives about mental health, school, sex, cancel culture, screens, popular culture, friendship, neurodiversity, and loneliness to make sense of how masculinity is constructed and experienced in our culture. In doing so, she charts a new path to help us give boys a healthier, more expansive, and fulfilling story about their own lives.
Synopsis
Combining painfully honest memoir, cultural analysis, and reporting, BoyMom is a humorous and heartbreaking deep dive into the complexities of raising boys in our fraught political moment. "Rapist, school-shooter, incel, man-child, interrupter, mansplainer, boob-starer, birthday forgetter, frat boy, dude-bro, homophobe, self-important stoner, emotional-labor abstainer, non-wiper of kitchen counters. Trying to raise good sons suddenly felt like a hopeless task."
As the culture wars rage, and masculinity has been politicized from all sides, feminist writer and mother of three boys Ruth Whippman finds herself conflicted and scared. While the right pushes a dangerous vision of fantasy manhood, her feminist peers often dismiss boys as little more than entitled predators-in-waiting. Meanwhile her home life feels like a daily confrontation with the triumph of nature over nurture.
With young men in the grip of a loneliness epidemic and dying by suicide at a rate of nearly four times their female peers, Whippman asks: How do we raise our sons to have a healthy sense of self without turning them into privileged assholes? How can we find a feminism that holds boys to a higher standard but still treats them with empathy? And what do we do when our boys won't cooperate with our plans?
Whippman digs into the impossibly contradictory pressures boys now face; and the harmful blind spots of male socialization that are leaving boys isolated, emotionally repressed, and adrift. Feminist gonzo-style, she spends months interviewing incels, reports on a conference for boys accused of sexual assault; crashes at a residential therapy center for young men in Utah, talks to a wide range of psychologists and other experts, and gets boys of all backgrounds to open up about sex, consent, porn, body image, mental health, cancel culture, screens, friendship and loneliness. Along the way, she finds her simple certainties about male privilege seriously challenged.
With wit, honesty, and a refusal to settle for easy answers, BoyMomcharts a new path to give boys a healthier, more expansive, and fulfilling story about their own lives.